No Progress: Part 2

Today I realized that my no progress was a lot of progress as is usually the case.

Frederick Douglass said "Without struggle there is no progress."  But the flipside of that statement is that with the correct struggle progress is very probable.  

Over the last day or two I was trying to figure out how to get Aptana to interpret my PHP scripts.  Finally after trolling the discussion boards, asking questions, and other such I got to the root of the problem.  The problem is that I did not have a web server installed and that PHP was not installed either.  I had an editor.  I needed an interpreter which usually requires a web server.  


Most people would be angry or disappointed.  But I was and still am quite excited.  I feel as though I have just made a discovery which is equivalent to jet packs being strapped to both of my feet.  My journey is forcing me to learn about the nuiances of Apache, Linux, and PHP, not to mention Magneto and other technologies.  

I feel as though soon enough I will be working for a firm where I am simply honing these skills constantly and breathing them into my own projects.  My feet are on the path and my learning will only pick up.  


The next steps are to continue working on the technical aspects and then to turn my full attention to learning about Linux and Apache and writing in order to add to my media business.  


During the learning process I have an ability to also write.  I will leverage that and learn technically and write creatively at the same time.  


I am a man of purpose.

ViP (Vision in Process)

Next year I have some goals:

1.  Complete another book (Baseball 2.0)
2.  Complete three more websites (GFM, GT, and S+L)
3.  Complete two screen plays
4.  Sell both screenplays for a million with the rights to revert back to me if they're not made within a set term.
5.  Make 5,000 dollars a month to me from S+L

But these goals don't answer a fundamental question.   What is the driving vision behind my life?  


I know there are things I want to do: own a successful software company, own a successful game company that changes the paradigm of playing games, and own a successful media and clothing company.  But I do not know what the overarching vision is.  


Right now this is what I am sure of:


1.  I want to allow my technological work to feed my media company, meaning that the profit (ongoing profit from one of my technical ventures) will feed building my publishing company.


2.  I will own all the means of production for all of my films and self fund them.


3.  There are three drives to my learning: technology as it gives power.  It's the only source of pure power in the form of knowledge that I know of and it leverages my natural intellectual advantages.  The second is marketing.  Being able to craft a message to reach the largest number of people in the most accurate way can't be overstated.  Finally, languages will allow for a greater communication, more creativity, and more opportunities.


I should go to bed now and begin to wake up earlier.  I have not had a drink in weeks and I want to begin to leverage that advantage by waking up earlier and doing more.

Girl Wish List

Nicole Bilderback -- actress in Numb3rs.

No Progress

Today I worked very hard on some code and I made no progress.  To be specific I was trying to pass a JSON object from the client to the "server" on a PHP script.  I just couldn't get it to work and I spent hours on it.  Finally I stopped and decided that I would post something to a message board.  I haven't received a reply yet but it's a noob question.  But that's not the important thing.

I've been here before.  When I was working on a project for EY I went three grueling days trying to figure out the solution to what should have been a very simple problem.  The project was over budget and I was under pressure.  Three days staring at a screen.  Then finally I came upon a small segment of an article that presented a slice of code.  That slice was the solution.  I finished the entire project three days later.  Now I'm a ninja on that application.


I'm starting to feel the same thing now.  Today was intractable.  But I know that it's simply the growing pain.  I know that a few steps down the line I'll be awesome at this too.  It'll just take some late nights and a lot of pressure.  Then I'll be able to take my eyes off of the techniques and begin to freely and quickly create.


But until then after I'm done with this blog post and dinner I'll probably go right back to trying to crack that problem.  I'm ready and eager to move forward.

Design Driven

Steve Jobs let the design drive the engineering.  At most companies it's the other way around. 

I gather that's the difference between Facebook, Google, Space X and perhaps even Tesla.  All of these companies pride themselves on being engineering driven.

Steve was art driven.  Art is design.  Design creates an emotional connection.  Design drives engineering. 

Personal Note:

The way you dress, the items in your home, your transport, they are all design.  They all say something about you.  That's what Apple products do.  They say something about you.  It's important and this importance will reverberate throughout my life.  I am just beginning to feel it's impact.

Steve Job's Brilliance

I'm learning a lot from Steve Job's book by Walter Isaacson, so much in fact that it'll be a series of blog posts so I can keep track of these lessons.  I'll have to review the book after I read it to make it actionable.

But the one insight I've just had is that this book is Steve's last product launch to us.  It's the product launch of Apple to us, the public.  It uses Steve's story as a hook.  But it's real purpose is to introduce us to Apple and the people in it.  He is introducing us with elegance to the people that are now running Apple.  It's his last message to us that we can still trust Apple.  

I am learning so much.

Everything Delivered

GFM must have a very simple aesthetic.  Go For Me.   Everything delivered.  A picture of a girl at her computer.  A picture a guy delivering stuff to her.

Idle Hands

Today my hands have been far from idle.  I've been programming all day.  It's cool but I need a break.  Man I need a break.  I've got so much work to do.  The more I do work on this project the more I see the need to do more work on this project.  It really is great but it is an effort.

I've still got to build regex into each of these screens, build that mySQL reference DB out, import data into it, build the event handling capabilities into it, and tons of other stuff.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Nonetheless, I'm gonna take a break and then get back to it.  I think I'm going to try to see a late show of Ghost Protocol and then maybe do some more work.  All work and no play.  But what if your play is your work?

Okay.  Viper signing off.

Work and Ambition

So today I pretty much got to code free and clear all day.  I had a bit of work to do before I started coding but overall I pretty much got to work.  It was nice.  But the holidays.  They just keep getting in the way.  So now I have to deal with them.  Tomorrow I would've at least got through the Regex work which is point four on my to-do list.  Maybe even through point seven.  But I won't be able to get there now because I have to go down South for the holidays.  I'm looking forward to it but I'm looking forward to actually getting my job done first.  I have real goals I want to accomplish and while this is important and it is very important I really would like to take this week to focus exclusively on my work.  Alas, what am I to do.  Now, moving right along, so what's next?  


Well, I have to keep working.  Well, packing and then working.  I really can't wait to get this project done and to get my next one done and then to get funded as a start-up so I can start working on my work exclusively, waking up and exclusively working on a project that will allow me to truly build something.  My goal right now is simply to build a company and sell it for five billion dollars.  That's it.  That's all I want to do.  Sell my first one for 100 million and sell the next one for five billion.  Ach!  C'mon all ready.

Today and the End of the Year

There are some things that I must do before the year ends:

Work: 

1.  This chartfield analysis (Doing now.  Making me nauseous.) -- (Done.)
2.  Think through the calculations analysis (Done)


Other Obligations:


1.  Federico's Work (Done!  I did this in twenty minutes and made a couple hundred bucks.)


My Personal Work

1.  Edit 20 pages. (Done)
2.  Finish 6 UI Interfaces
3.  Watch 6 Videos about Linux
4.  Finish 6 more UI Interfaces


I really can't wait for the upcoming week.  I want to focus on my personal work as I know what I'm supposed to be doing.  Last night I went to a company dinner.  It was not a good experience.  It wasn't a good experience not because it was so terrible in and of itself though I did have someone from my group go a little too hard at me.  

Sometimes when I endure slights at work I take comfortable refuge in the fact that I'll be leaving sometime soon.  I'll be leaving soon not only because I want to leave but because I have to go.  I have people to help, people to save and therefore I have work, my work, to do.  I take solace in it like a prisoner who will be escaping soon.  It gives him a new found ability to endure the slights and abuses from the system with a smirk, knowing that his exodus cometh.  

But rather it was also informative and something that I couldn't wholly understand.  I sat and watched everyone stomach a guy, who was wholly boring, an uninteresting kid in high school and still living with the insecurities from it, who had grown into a man of some power.  However, he was uninteresting and because of this he wanted to lord it over other people that he was now the man.  He enjoyed playing king and speaking at his table to the exclusion of others.   People clamored to give him space and make way.  I laughed at it internally and even somewhat externally.  It seemed terribly humorous and also sad.  


It was sad because these people had somehow abdicated their own power to someone else.  They had given up on the idea of their own vision for their lives and contented themselves with this servile role.  I heard very little original thought in any conversation and now that I think on it it is this point that incenses me the most.  Why are people not thinking originally?  Or if they are why are they not willing to demonstrate it?  Innovation grows out of original thought.  Steve Jobs said it best.  Think different.  


Think different.


Think different.


Think different.


There was no thinking different.  It was group think.  Group social mannerisms.  Group everything.  No one even seemed to have a vision for their lives.  


Maybe Steve Jobs was right.  He mentioned the idea of the Uber Mensch and that he was one.  One to which the rules did not apply but rather one who bent society to his or her will and others followed that path.  I believe I am an uber mensch.  I am here to set the vision and design large bore solutions.  But the most important thing is that none of this is for me.  But it is in the service to the society, to people.

Task List

My consulting skills are more useful than I know.  Instead of going about my work haphazardly with no possible end in sight what I've done is applied what I learned at EY to my task. I simply went about my work in a consulting way.  

I mapped out the workflows and the technical flows and printed screen shots of all of my progress up to this point and tied them to the flows that I built.  Now I'm using that to build out a task list of all the work required.  The reason why I'm writing this blog post is this task list.  Damn!

This task list is big and it's only getting bigger.  I started writing it up and it's at 13 items and I'm only on page three (end of page two actually).  I'm hungry so I'm going to eat lunch now.  But wow.  But at the same time it is manageable only because I managed it.  Now I realize that in order to make continual progress I will have to implement daily learning, i.e. Linux Fedora and Apache into my day-to-day work.  

I've got so much work to do but as the founder of Dogfish Ales said in an interview on Bloomberg TV, "I'm grateful for the weight of my rucksack."  

No Traffic. Now What's Next?

I know most bloggers want traffic.  But I am very happy that I truly do not have any.  I have no web traffic at all and I hope it stays that way for the foreseeable future.  This is a way that I can get my thoughts out and still be safe.  It's funny.  In the vast world of the WWW I can speak and no one is paying any attention.  I'm writing a journal in plain site and no one cares because I don't care to promote it.  It's pretty great if you think about it.

Now, onto my work.  So today I installed a Fedora virtual box onto my desktop.  Next, I'm looking to install one onto my laptop.  I also put together all the workflows and diagrams for the next steps in the UI build out for the GFM system.  But what's next?

1.  Build out a task list.
2.  Watch 3 more videos on Linux.
3.  Build out the remaining UI screens for GFM.
4.  Test all UI screens and make sure they work appropriately.
5.  Build back end DB and store all information.
6.  Install PHP and MySQL information on all computers including DBs and Aptana.
7.  Build out PHP backends.
8.  Work through 100 pages in Linux Fedora book.
9.  Work through 100 pages in Linux Fedora book.
10.  Work through 100 pages in Linux Fedora book.
11.  Work through 100 pages in Apache book.
12.  Work through 100 pages in Apache book.
13.  Work through 100 pages in Apache book.
14.  Seed through the work-reading materials tasks for GFM, i.e. building out GIMP buttons, putting site on a externally facing PW protected site, build in CGI work in PERL.  By the end of the Apache text I should be able to post the entire site online.  


Wait, I'll have to learn Magneto as well.


15.  Work through Magneto 1 Book
16.  Work through Magneto 2 Book
17.  Work through Magneto 3 Book


I should have also set up a webserver by this time where I can test all the Magneto functionality.  


18.  Take iPhone development course.
19.  Map out iPhone App.
20.  Take an Android development course.
21.  Map out Android App.
22.  Publish both apps to App store and build a business plan around system build.


Whether this project works or not the point of it is to be able to build something and the technology build out from this.  If it turns into a fantastic business great.  If it does not then that is great too.  I'll be able to turn the skills I learned from this into another project.


"If it doesn't start out by growing fast chances are it never will.  Waiting is not a solution." 


-- SQ

Setback

So I started my next project, GFM yesterday.  I intended to actually write some code yesterday using my Eclipse IDE.  Unfortunately the IDE was giving me all kinds of problems.  Therefore I had to get rid of the IDE and reload it.  But while I was doing that I decided that I wouldn't use Eclipse at all.  Eclipse is an IDE for Java with a bunch of plugins for other environments.  Why do that when I could just use Aptana.


Aptana is a web-based tool and is lighter, simpler, and just a better suited tool to my needs.  So after downloading and installing Aptana on both my laptop and my desktop I now am ready to start developing ... after I do some work planning out the various screens for the user interface.  


So tonight I'm going to plan the UI and then build out two screens.  Check in tomorrow folks.  

Driven

Tonight I finished another book.  It's locked and loaded.  I plan to send out ten copies by the end of this week.  

But it's funny.  Now that I've finished this book I'm looking to (or have all ready) started on my next project.  I have a lot of work to do on it but I am really excited about getting it done, about seeing it through completely.  It's awesome.  I feel like I am achieving what I want to achieve.

Women

Where to begin with a title like that one?

Here's where to begin.  How do you attract women?  Is it physique?  I'm sure that does it for some of them.  Is it smarts?  I'm sure that works too.  But here's what I think really works. Real fun.


Women are helpmates.  That's what God calls them in the Bible and I haven't mindlessly accepted that.  I believe it.  In the relationships that I've seen that work couples that often run a business together or work together are often the closest.  They're the closest because they help each other and women are great companions and helpers.  Helper is a disrespected word but it can be argued that every employee in a firm is a helper of the CEO who sets the vision.  Surely no one looks down upon employees.  Rather a great helper is something to be exhaulted, respected, and even beloved.  In the case of a woman, I say this with trepidation knowing the weight of the sentence, loved.


Okay, so how do you attract the right one.  Well, start by doing you.  Do what you do naturally.  Have a vision for your life.  Have a plan.  Know what makes you happy.  Then do it.  Your well being ... let me repeat, your being well will attract a woman to you.  Don't worry about it.  Just focus on being happy and doing your mission (I believe every person on this planet was sent here with something they need to get done) and God will send a woman by soon enough.  You've got my word on it.

Manliness

I have been thinking upon the idea of manliness lately.  I think in this day and age it is a question that a large number of men wrestle with.  Some have a firm grasp on it while others may not.  If not then this post is for you.

Often I see things, particularly in the media today, that attempt to co-opt the idea of manliness, or rather what it means to be a man.  They often boil down to a set of rules about what it means to be a man.  The rules seem disjointed, disconnected and some how just foolish.  An example of which can be seen below.

Really Miller Light?  Really?  So my manliness is now determined by the type of beer I drink.   This I think points to the confusion around the idea of manliness nowadays.  If we are relying on advertising executives on Madison Avenue to define manliness for us and the trite answer they come up with is a beer then that is sad.  Our grandfathers and their fathers would be ashamed. 

I was reading GQ and they had a very straightforward answer.  What is manliness?  So here's the answer:


It's manly to do whatever the hell you like.

Emphasis on whatever.  Subject done.

Don't Live By Their Rules. Live By Your Own.

As of late I've been discovering somethings.  Lately I've been doing a lot of discovering and re-discovering.  I guess that's part of the path to enlightenment.  This is what I've discovered today.

I was writing L&M and I was thinking about this article I read from Madeline Buston, an agent at Lee Child's agency, and she put this rule on her website about having a mini-drama every five pages.  I worked really hard a week ago to put that into effect.  However, after being in my present self I looked at what I had written.  It was balance, beautiful, interesting, and most importantly, it was true to myself.  I liked it.  I liked it a lot.  Then I decided something.  Writing, like life, is about perfecting your voice.  It's about everyday while giving reverence and respect to God, about becoming your perfect self (which I feel is impossible without God).  In order to be that perfect self it becomes about truly becoming in tune with the voice within, the voice which tells you what's right and what's wrong.  It's almost like the voice that will lead you into the light.  It's the path.   

I can't follow their rules.  I must listen to that voice and follow my own.  L&M is L&M the way it is.  It is pure.  It is what I give from me to you.  There is gray, black, white, yellow, blue, purple, and brown.  It was given to me from the universe, from God, to give to you.  It wasn't given to others to be shaped by them, but rather was given to me to me to steward.  Just like the vision for your life was given to you for you to shepherd.  Therefore I guard mine, just as you should guard yours, openly but vigilantly.  


The vision for my life, just as for yours, can't be lived by the rules of others, whether they be Mrs. Buston or your parents, or your boss, or mentor, or anyone else.  It is up to me and to you to as Paul said "work out your own salvation with fear and trembling."  I think what he may have been trying to say was to work out your own path, your own principles by which you live your life.  I'm sorry Mrs. Buston.  I can not write the way anyone says.  I am guided by the key of my own soul.


As in everything I am guided by the key of my own soul.

Ahhh.  Happiness. 

Writing Makes Me Hate Reading Like Fucking Makes Me Hate Women

I used to love reading, especially fiction.  I would throw myself into the author's world haphazardly, with complete abandon, surrendering my mind to the author's textured world, allowing him to paint vivid pictures in my head, using my vast imagination as the canvas.  I would trust the architect and I would fill in the blanks.  Now since I write all that has changed.  

I read with a critical eye, examining the screws and headlights so closely now that I can't really appreciate the car.  I, like an engineer, relentlessly compare my work to his.  To read it sometimes annoys me or saddens me or makes me happy.  But the emotional roller coaster of this neurosis by comparison is too much.  It no longer allows me to fully appreciate the creation in front of me.  Is it insecurity?  I don't think so.  I think it's comparison, maybe even competition.  It's the driving question of why doesn't he do it like me or why don't I do it like him.  It's the question of whose method is superior and that constant weighing which saps my joy.


Just like women.  When I was in high school and my early years of college I could simply appreciate them.  I could appreciate their beauty.  I could appreciate the fine shape of her legs (I'm thinking of one in particular now) or her style and the way her aloof manner mesmerized me.  I could appreciate the come hither look in her eye or the flip of her hair or her lightly flirtacious manner.  

But now I don't trust her.  You see, I've started fucking her.  I know her far too well.  I know that any romantic musings I've had about her were all a product of ignorance.  I know she lies.  I know she doesn't care about a moral code that she expects me to enforce when it comes to her but she discards when it comes to her sisters.  I know that her aloofness and style is really vapid and she is simply waiting for me to screw her so that somehow she has a claim, regardless of what it will be used for.  I know that beneath a facade of simplicity lies a calculus that is at best off putting and at worst manipulative.


So in my reading, just as in my women, I look at both of them askance.  It's because I just know both of them too well.  And knowing something too well makes romance impossible.

Leaving on the Next Plane

Ever since I was a child I wanted to be an entrepreneur.  Now more than ever I know that I have to leave my corporate job.  


In corporate America it is required that you use corporate speak.  Problem becomes challenge.  Issue becomes opportunity.  You learn to stifle your opinions and to filter what you say through some conservatively socially acceptable filter by which your thoughts, indeed your very soul, go into an iron maiden.  I don't want that to happen to me but I fear it is happening. 


I don't buy into the corporate climb and I know I am leaving but an entrepreneur needs a point of view, needs a brashness, a me against the world feel.  Thankfully for me because I know that at some point in the near future I'm leaving my firm I can not invest in the climb and the image building, etc, the mechanisms of the maiden.  But rather I can preserve myself, giving them a little bit, and in the meantime nurturing my own point of view to the point that when I go I'll be able to shape my firm(s) with my own stamp, my own personality, imbuing them with the values I hold dear.

Rhythm

I was having a bit of a rough time editing L&M the other night.  It was rough because it's like having a tough day at work and then going back in the next day dreading it because you think it's going to be such a tough task again.  But actually how today usually has no real connection to how yesterday was.  Each day seems to fall of it's own accord.  


Well, that's how it was for this particular editing session.  However, I got to it and surely the next twenty pages were much easier to edit, really not requiring much re-working.  But funny enough I just got offered my first paid work in writing today.  


It came through my sister.  Her boyfriend's family need someone to rewrite the text for their website and my sister suggested me.  I don't think there is anything here that will significantly help me in my writing career but I do know this.  This is a small opportunity, a shoot of grass, first fruits, being offered to me by the universe in response to all the work I've done with writing.  I know that if I say yes to this it will allow more paid writing work to flow toward me.  


There will be challenges.  There always are, but the Bible says "Whatever a man sow that also shall he reap."  This text is often used to reference ill but it also applies to good.  In this sense I have sown a respectable amount of work in writing.   Now I am reaping the first fruits of my reward.  Thank God.  Thank God.  And thank God. 


I am eager to see what else the future will hold, very eager.

Girl

There's this girl that I want to see.  But we can't seem to get together.   I'm not really sure what I should do.  Heck, I'm not really even sure what my plans are for her.  I'm not super into her but I do think there is some promise there.  I have tried twice and anything beyond one more try seems to be pushing it.  A phone call will feel awkward and forced.  I'm just not really sure what I should do.  


But I do know this.  Trusting the universe.  Trusting in the plan rhythm of the universe and the Architect who created it has always served me well.  I'll think on it a bit more but whatever happens just going with the flow has always worked best for me.  That's what I think I'll do here.

Life Hack

I am not a morning person.  Therefore I must trick myself into waking up in the morning.  Therefore tomorrow morning I want to wake up and go to church.  Or at least go for a walk.  (Church seems like a bit much at 10 am for me ... the singing and the word ... I do better in the evening so a walk sounds like a better idea).  


Life Hack:  The first thing I'll do before I do anything else is to get a cup of coffee.   Wake up.  Walk to the kitchen.  Get the coffee.  Drink it.  That's it.  If I don't do that I'll never wake up.


Tomorrow I'd like to edit cut four pages out of L&M, to read the Word, ideally to go to church, and to help my sister.  Also to edit another ten pages of L&M and to do some programming.  Man, I'd better go to bed.

Mental Fitness

Tonight I decided not to do two things.  


First, I decided not to go out drinking.  Alcohol, like most objects, is a tool.  It is a tool to relieve stress.  God has seen fit to give me a body that really does not require much maintenance.  However it does require me not to abuse it.  In order to prevent abuse I should only really use alcohol when the amount of stress on my system is overwhelming.  Otherwise I should leave it alone.  I have done so tonight.


Second, I decided not to watch any streaming video tonight.  I have found that watching television for hours seems to numb my brain in it's frontal lobes, deadening it somewhat, sort of like a sleeping foot.  Since I am a cerebral being by nature this is the equivalent of being temporarily disabled.  I don't like it so therefore I didn't do it.  


Rather I chose to read tonight.  I am reading and learning and feel as though my comprehension skills are increasing and my mental dexterity is being served.  I must be careful with how much non-active stimulus (television, movies, even I gather plays to some extent) I introduce into my mind.  I am more suited to interactive stimulus (reading, writing, programming, learning) and of these positive activities I can have as much of as I like.  

New Words

Ardor: enthusiasm or passion.

Spiritual Hunger

Sometimes I feel a little emptiness inside, a little space in my soul.  Often I feel like it might just be me being hungry but this morning (it's 2:30 am EST) it's so quiet that I can actually hear my own soul.  This hunger wasn't physical.  It was spiritual.  I read the Bible and somehow instantly my soul felt better.  That emptiness, that slice of darkness, went away.  I looked in the mirror as I believe the eyes are truly the windows to the soul and just like that my eyes were somehow fuller, more at peace.  All I can say is praise be to God and thanks for Your Son Jesus Christ.  Amen.


BTW: What did I learn.  I read Philippians Chapter 2.  There were three sections and I learned two things for sure. The third I'll have to think about.


1.  Paul espouses people in the church to value each other more than themselves and to serve one another, doing nothing out of ambition but rather in the spirit of service to each other.


2.  Paul also tells people in the church never to grumble or argue so that we as Christians may shine among the people as stars.  It's in service to the name of Christ which we represent that we should not grumble or argue so that we can stand apart.


I am amazed at how much better I feel now that I have read the Word.  My soul truly feels more whole, more at ease, more fulfilled, just more.  Spiritual hunger is real and if I am to grow into the man that I want to be, that God desires for me to be, then it is up to me not only to eat once a week when I'm at church but to eat everyday, gaining the strength to walk this walk daily.  

Writing Music

I'm sitting here coding for work.  Yes, it's in a rudimentary not very exciting application which I'm embarrassed to mention.  Yet it's pretty great.  I have become truly proficient with this rudimentary form of programming and I must say that I am happy about it.  

In high school I used to enjoy simply doing math and listening to music at the same time. It was almost as if when I was doing math I was writing music.  I felt truly at peace, zen.  Now that I am writing code and listening to music and I am past the struggle stage of writing code but am simply and fluidly creating I must say that I feel the same way.  

This feeling of zen is really enjoyable.  I wonder will I ever feel this way about writing books?  Will I ever get this fluid.  Perhaps.  But I do know one thing.  I will not deviate (with God's blessing) from the plan.  I will continue to write and to write code.  But I don't know.  If dancing with one woman feels so right why would I want to dance with anyone else?

Demo Camp

This sounds really cool.  Demo Camp.  A place where you can demonstrate your cool new stuff.  

See below.

Demo Camp

Truly Amazing: The Shanghai Restoration Project

Just listen.

This is amazing.  Most things aren't.  This is.

Binary

I have a binary mindset.  Either it's left or right, in or out, black or white.  While I am able to see the grey area and am appreciative of it I have this instantaneous ability to come to a decision.  It's easy for me.  But it's hard on other people.  If I like something I really like it.  Otherwise I'm just indifferent to it, not caring if it lives or dies.  The opposite of love isn't hate.  It's indifference.  And when you're indifferent toward people, especially women, and you're handsome, prepare to be hated.

Two Wives

I have a problem.  I think I love two women.  One is pragmatic yet demanding, requiring a lot of attention and yet more reliable in her tangible benefit to me.

The other is more romantic, looks much finer on my arm, is more mercurial, but her prospects for the future are more unsure, she will require a higher investment, and yet I am sure that it would be wrong for me in a universal sense to leave her alone.  I could short change her but as for most things in this world you get back what you put out.  Woe is me for I am a man of standards.

Alas, I am in a devastating situation.  One I need and want.  The other I want and need.  In somethings we have a choice.  In fate we do not.  I will have to pursue both.  But my fear is that there will be none of me left for myself or for anyone else.

Life kills us with a bounty of blessings.  She is too kind and yet beautifully cruel at the same time.

Genius Is Not In the Writing. It's in the Editing.

A couple days ago I read something in an interview Madeline Buston, an agent who works with Lee Child, an author that I really enjoy.  If you haven't read his stuff you should.  It's always well crafted, detailed, and has great pace and solid action and his characters are somehow very believable.  It's funny.  The more I read his stuff and stuff from guys who I just can't believe are so great, i.e. Norman Mailer, John Steinbeck, these just genius level guys the more inadequate I feel, yet I feel driven to outperform them.


Nonetheless, I continue to write, continuing to perfect my brand of storytelling.  My goal is to perfect the telling of a story in a fast paced yet substantive way.  Madeline Buston had what I found to be at the time a great point, a great guideline for writing.  She basically said that every story should be written in a five page arc with a mini-drama at the end of every five pages.  Well, I seized on the point, looking to get my stories to move along like the adventure novels they should be.  I'm finding however that it is more difficult than I anticipated.  It really causes you, if you want to write suspense, adventure, and thrillers, to dispense with the flowery language and get down to the bone, clearly separating what is dispensable from what is not.  


A piece that I worked on tonight had a part in it that had eleven pages between the last action and the present one.  I sat and edited until I got it down to 7.5, cutting and cutting and cutting.  In the writing, I give myself all the liberties I want.  But in the editing, each word has a cost, each word slows down the action.  


I must admit that the action moves a lot faster now and I am forced to make things happen if I want to keep pieces of the story.  It's forcing me to ask the hard questions that must be asked of any really good action story, namely, what is this scene for?  What is the purpose?  What is happening?  And is it dispensable?  If there are no good answers to any of those questions it must go.


The writing is the easy part.  It's on credit.  The editing is when the bill must be paid.

Rest, Relaxation, and Work ... on a Monday!?!?

Today was the first day back from a holiday weekend at work.  Except I ended up working from home.   Last night for some strange reason I couldn't get to sleep.  I ended up falling asleep at six am this morning.  My alarm clock sounded for seven.  Rather than go to work at 8 completely exhausted and nod off repeatedly at work, ruining my reputation and being completely unproductive I decided to call in sick.  I told my boss.  She told me it was fine.  And I told her that I'd work from home.  


Turns out that, by being pragmatic, sleeping until noon, then waking up and giving my work a solid focused couple of hours that I got as much or maybe more done in the shorter amount of time than by going into the office.  Sure I have a little more work to do ... but I'm always a bit ambitious when it comes to my work goals.  I could get it done but why push it.  I'm currently where I need to be in terms of scheduling and I'm genuinely pleased with my progress.  I'm sure my boss will be too as I should be well ahead of schedule by EOD tomorrow.  


It just goes to show that rethinking orthodox rules may be very smart.  Why keep the same stale mindsets when it is productivity and not hours logged that count?  Why spend eight hours an hour and twenty minutes from your house (forty minutes each way) when you can do the same amount of work in five hours?  It's awesome.


Now what else to do today?


1.  Edit four sections in my book.  It's necessary.


2.  Put in for my vacation time.


3.  Clean my kitchen


Right now it's my break time.  So I'm about to watch some type of program then I'm going to write.  So that'll bring me right up until eight o'clock.  Eight I'll edit.  Nine-thirty I'll clean.  Then eleven I'll read.  That should do it.  Okay.   Later.

Steve Jobs Videos I Feel Compelled to Share

Steve Jobs Video 1:


It's an interview of him when he was at NeXT.


Check it out.


Steve Jobs at NeXT

Steve Jobs Video 2:

Steve Jobs at All Things Digital - 2011

End Table and Artwork

Hey.  This is something I like.   So this is something I intend to buy:


End Table I Intend to Buy


Also I intend to buy my first piece of artwork.  I think it will be this:


Potential First Piece of Artwork

That's it.  :D 


Craft your life.

Future Posts

Note to self:  Two future topics I want to write about:  the EC Situation and an offline topic about my work in progress.

Sticking to the Plan

Well I'm almost done with my first edit of my book.  I'm excited about it.  But I must tell the truth.  Today I read about a literary agent Madeline Buston.  She is the agent for Lee Child.  Nonetheless, she said something that I thought was pretty interesting.  It'll lead me to have to do two more edits but I'm pretty excited about both.  


The first thing she said was that every five pages should have a mini-drama in it.  That's good to know because it was something I was struggling with, namely how much action should be packed into each scene in order to make it interesting.  Madeline's thought seemed to be pretty much right on the money.  


The second was that the chapters should be short and should have cliffhangers after each chapter to propel the reader onto the next chapter.


The third part that I read from Elmore Leonard was taht you should leave out the parts that the reader will skip.  I like that as a rule of thumb or at least to minimize them or to simplify to the point where they're not necessary.  


I learned a lot about writing today.  I plan on using it tomorrow.  But most importantly it's guiding my editing process, something that I've been struggling with here a bit.  I didn't know how to go about balancing my writing.  But now I know.  I truly know.  I feel that between these three principles I've got a good framework for editing here.


After this I'll be confident enough to send my work out to literary agents.  Also I feel confident enough that after this project is done I'll be able to fully go about my next project, my technology project, GFM.  


Btw, I've changed the title of my book from Trader to Up and Down: From Waiter to Trader to Titan.  I like that.  It works for me.  But I really feel like after these edits are all done I'll be able to really focus on the next part, the technology project.  I'm really excited about that.  


I was somewhat worried that I wouldn't be able to do the story justice because of the edit.  But now I feel reasonably assured that I will be able to craft a quality product and then to submit it.  I'm excited to put it out there for the world to see.  I'm also excited to be able to give this project some finality, some closure, and to move onto my next project.  Pretty cool.  Pretty cool.  Pretty super cool.

Work of Art versus Worker

I think when you're creating something artistic, i.e. a novel, a play, a painting, you should take your time, be careful not to rush it, and go with the flow.


But when you're doing something technical or knowledge based I think there is an increased return with sleeping under your desk, doing it morning, noon, and night, and just working your ass off until it's done.  I think that when you're doing something technical or learning something new it's best to power through it and burn the idea or skill into your mind so that you can do your 10,000 hours (Gladwell) and make quantum leaps quickly.


For works of art I don't think that way.  I think you go until you run out of that vital creative energy and then you must stop.  As Mark Twain said, (paraphrased): I found that I would write and then stop.  I had to take the time to let myself fill up again.  Then once that happened I could go right back to writing.


Technology is different.  It takes a rigorous application.

Continually Inspired

I am so glad for my decision to pursue technology.  (I can't wait to work for a company where I get to pursue this full-time.  The goal:  next year.  Or maybe sooner.  We'll see.)


Nonetheless, this is the reason for my interest.  I get to actually work on ideas like this. 

When you're allowed to play in a sandbox like this how can you not be continually inspired?

Amount of Quality Work

Today I had a plan to edit forty pages of my recently finished first draft of a novel.  The motivation is simple.  Finishing more will allow me to finish faster.  Finishing faster will allow me to get more done.  Getting more done means more accomplishments and that means filling more fulfilled and generally feeling like I'm accomplishing my life's work, thus achieving my purpose in life.


But there was a hitch.  I found setting a high goal is good.  But it's also very important that you are able to achieve high quality along with that goal.  If I'm setting high goals but not achieving quality in the work, that's bad.  Very bad.  I'd rather achieve a bit less (quantity still is important ... the the use of the words 'a bit less') and have a higher quality product than achieve more and have a lower quality product.  


Therefore I have pared back my forty pages to twenty.  Yes it'll take me longer to achieve my goal.  But the final product will be a better quality product that I'll be more pleased with.  The workmanship will definitely be stronger and I'm confident that I'll ultimately be more proud of the work.  


I'm curious as to how that'll carry over into my technical projects.  Time will tell.  Peace.

Eagerness

I've got so much eagerness to move onto GFM that it's crazy.  I really just want to get on with this next project.  It will take a different form of focus but it will be really cool to be increasing my technical skills in a variety of areas and doing a lot of planning and programming.  I feel like my apartment is going to become this little (medium sized :D) technical laboratory.  I'm just really eager to work extensively with Javascript, Perl, PHP, Apache, Linux, Gimp, Git (perhaps ... there are online tutorials now), and MySQL, maybe some Bash, and AWK, iPhone development, and Android development. 

My skill set will increase dramatically.  But more so I look forward to launching something that everyone can use.  And I want to start sending my book out to publishers.  I have to read that book about sending stuff out to publishers.  I think I'll do that and the project synopsis my little sister requested (BB20) in the New Year.  I'll read a book or two about getting published in the first two weeks of the New Year as well.   

I don't think I could bear it to put off starting work on GFM while tying up some loose ends.  I'm so eager to start.  But this post helps relieve some of the pressure. 

It's kind of funny.  These projects really are fulfilling a fundamental need in my life.  I normally would be fretting about a companion, children, and that sort of thing.  But I've got something now.  I think a man gets a companion honestly when he needs one, not when he wants one but when it's a requirement.  

The Bible says Pro 19:14 You may inherit all you own from your parents, but a sensible wife is a gift from the LORD.

I think God often gives us what we need and not what we want often because what we want may very well get in the way of what we need.  I think what will happen with me is that I'll get so into my projects, my work, technological and humanitarian creativity, working with both, combining them in all sorts of combinations, that I'll look up one day and I'll be in a deep committed relationship because that's what I need.  God will give me what I need when I need it and I find a certain abiding peace in that.

(Minor) Mission Accomplished

So today I got (outside of work ... I don't really talk about work here that much) a lot done.  I edited 40 pages in my book.  I enjoyed it.  But there are some things I am concerned about in this edit.

I must read aloud when I edit.  I have to.  Otherwise I can't get a feel for the rhythm of the words.  I didn't edit the first 40 pages aloud.  That means I have to go back and do those again but do them aloud.

Second, I must look at my emotional lynchpins in my story which I haven't done with the first forty or the second forty pages of the story.  I need to go back and see where the reader should be feeling something or where I want them to feel something and go back and make sure that (to quote SWV) I am "giving (them) something (they) can feel."  So in essence I have to go back and do another edit.  But I am really excited.  

I am making solid progress but there is more rework to be done.  It's strange that I am learning the process of how to edit while I am editing.  I think I am just becoming a better editor.  But I am still eager to get this project wrapped up so I can get onto GFM.  That project is huge.

Aside:  I also need to go back and thicken up the part about Roy Rooksman.  That part is not where it needs to be.  It feels like an apendage at this point.  It needs to be 'sanded' to meld seamlessly.

As far as Girl 1 is concerned I texted her with a sort of nebulous very free let's get try to get together sometime this weekend if you're in town sort of message.  She should say yes.  I am starting to relearn the art of seduction.  But I've been far to busy to pay real attention to it.  

Anyway, tomorrow is onto the next 40 pages (80-120).  

Then Wednesday is 120-160.
Thursday: 160-180 and then back to 0-20
Friday:  20-60
Saturday: 60-100
Sunday: 100-140

Monday:  140-180


Done with Trader.  Onto GFM.

Date, Date, and Write

Date 1:

The girl I am interested in, KS, is fantastic.  But I have to find somewhere to take her.  Perhaps I'll think it out here.  The first thing I'll analyze is what is appropriate.  Food. 

Food is a great date.  It's a great date because it lets you know exactly how serious or not serious you are.  There's nowhere to run over food.  Either you get along really well or you don't.  But there's no bullshit over food.  Food is a distinct possibility.

Play.  A play is a good date if the play is good.  But good plays are a bit expensive and I'm a bit tight on cash right now.  Lawyers.  But a play is good because it gives you a shared experience, something to talk about over dinner.  And it's memorable.  It's hard for a girl to tell you to screw off after going out to a play.

Adventure.  (bowling, rock climbing wall, dancing)  I like all of these things but bowling seems like you're trying too hard.   A rock climbing wall can be classified as weird and the last thing you want is a girl telling her friends that you did something weird.  Dancing is cool but if it's wrong it's dead wrong.  Mitigating risk is important in the early stage.

Hmph.  Idea.  But it's risky.  Cooking class.  It alllows you to work together, to hang out, you can go for drinks afterward, both of you get something out of it, and it's a story.  And it gives me plausible deniability because I can't cook worth a shit so it's kinda light to ask if she wants to keep me company cooking.  It's a good idea.  Okay.  Date 1.  Cooking class.  Sounds pretty cool.

Date 2:  

This girl is great.  I had her in hand.  Now I have to coax her back into hand.  It's funny to have to do so.  EC is a brainy girl.  My type.  But I paid her too much attention and so now I have to let her marinate for a while.  It's like letting water drain after a flood.  It just takes time.  I can't be too interested.  I have to let the mystery, the enigma, rebuild.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.  I must reposition myself into that absence.  

The next time I talk to her should be next Friday.  I'll answer her email and then wait and see.  I'll have to word it correctly but if I do I should be able to go out for drinks with her.  It should be good.

Aside:

I'm finding more and more that I enjoy the game more than the win.  Except with KS perhaps (she is fantastic) but with most I'm finding that I enjoy the game more.  There is a bartender at a bar I go to.  She's hot.  She's just stacked.  I'm finding however that I'm more interested in the pursuit than the win.  When I'm interested I'm really interested but when I'm not interested I'm completely uninterested.  With her I'm interested.  It's a new and strange thing for me, it's sort of like I'm learning how to be me again.  It's a journey of rediscovery.  I used to love the pursuit.  Now I love the pursuit again.  

Write:

I edited 40 pages of my book yesterday but I'm finding that I'm not editing it aggressively enough.  I need to work on it with more focus but I want to really get on to GFM, my next project.  But I must force myself to slow down enough and to curate this book.  To really be relentless with it, to really focus on it.  

In the official Steve Jobs biography Xerox had a product that had the original mouse, GUI, bit mapping, object oriented programming, all the bells and whistles that made the modern computer great.  Jobs saw the computer and went back to Apple and started to build one.  However, Xerox, the original creators of the technology built and released a machine first.  However, they never curated it.  They didn't edit it, refine it, and take the time to make something wonderful out of something so full of potential.  Because they didn't curate it, they didn't make it special, it flopped.  Apple went onto great success.

I must exert the discipline over myself to not look at the next goal but to focus like a laser on this one making each page a page turner.  I must focus, refine, and twice distill this project to make it perfect.

Excellence, care, is a habit.  Practice is necessary.


But first a cooking class.

Babies and Bathwater

Despite its source the below advertisement is really true.  It jars the mind as it should.  Forget the company that paid for the advertisement.  Just watch the advert.  Take the baby.  Leave the bathwater.

Editing, the Next Steps, and a Girl

I have just completed my second novel.  Now, it's on to the editing.  Polishing a gem is just as important as finding it.  I'll leave it at that.  I don't feel spiritually allowed to talk about the process of writing.  DeNiro said that he and Brando talked about everything except acting.  

Marlon and I never talked about our performances in The Godfather. What was he going to say? We knew each other. I spent time on his island with him. But you don't talk about acting. You talk about anything but acting. I guess the admiration is unspoken.

Read more: Robert DeNiro - What I've Learned

I think that people, just like the God who created us, can breathe life into things.  Relationships have a life.  Just like babies they start off small and fragile.  They must be nurtured in the beginning and treated like the fragile objects that they are.  Over time they become more durable and can take the harder hits and are capable of more.  

Created things have a life.  But somethings are somehow destroyed by talking about them.   For me, right now, I don't feel the liberty to talk about the process and I like talking about everything.   But the process I don't feel free to talk about now.  Maybe later.  But a cool thing did happen last night.

I told someone I had just finished my first novel.  Then they said to me, "You're a writer."  It felt good.  I am a writer now.  I am a writer.  But now it is time to become a creator.  :D  A writer writes, but a creator can create pretty much anything.  I want to be a creator.  The next thing (after I'm done with editing) is to create GFM.  GFM will require:

1.    Plotting out the work flow -- how does the business work and how does GoForMe's

Technology layer facilitate this work flow.

2.    Programming the front end.

3.    Programming the PHP layer

4.    Programming the PERL layer

5.    Learning about Fedora

6.    Learning about Apache

7.    Setting up my server

8.    Learning about Magneto and eCommerce

9.    Setting up Magneto

11.  Learning deeper Magneto

12.  Setting up deeper Magneto

13.   Learning about iPhone Application building

14.   Building the iPhone App

15.   Learning about Android Application building

16.   Building the Android Application

17.   Learn about Gimp

18.   Learn about web design. 

19.   Make GFM intuitive.

20.   Design kick ass GFM logo

17.   Putting together an Action Plan

18.   Beta-ing it on the Upper East Side

18.   Beta-ing it on the Upper West Side

19.   Beta-ing it on Morningside Heights

20.  Rolling it out in Midtown quickly

21.  Rolling it out in all of Manhattan

22.  Build sick web following, have it explode, be on the cover of a couple New York based magazines

(At this point I can begin writing my third book on the side)

23.  Raise VC money from my heros, Max Levchin and Elon Musk.  

24.  Do 1,000,000 in revenue in the first year

25.  Do 25,000,000 in revenue in the second year

26.  Do 100,000,000 in revenue in my third year

27.  Do 1,000,000,000 in revenue in my fourth year.

28.  Have a valuation of 25 billion.

29.  Sell out for 10,000,000,000.  

30.  Chill.

Finally, the girl.  Her name is KS.  I can't share more than that.  This is the Internet.   To be honest I don't know where it's going.  

What do I know:

1.  She's sophisticated.  Her style is elegant, not just in the way she dresses but the way she carries herself.

2.  She's smart.  But she's not academically smart, though she did go to college and I'm sure she got good grades.  But she's not a propeller head the way other girls I've dated casually in the past are.  Yet she keeps my attention.

3.  She's attractive.

4.  She fits nicely in my life.  She just fits.  She would make a good wife and a great partner.  

5.  I'm not super attracted to her yet but I'm interested.  But I wasn't super attracted to Kathleen when I first met her either or Sarah.  They grew on me.  I think she will too.

Thinking of it, she is the exact same type as Kathleen.  Sophisticated, smart (but not a propeller head), in essence a trophy (though I think that's a degrading term but it does imply that she is something of high value and I can see why others would think that), and generally a good partner and wife.  Do I love her?  No.  Do I like her?  Yes.  Could I love her?  I don't know but I would think I could.  

This is the sort of new relationship that must be carefully nurtured.  I guess girls are right.  Girls always say that if you really liked them you would do certain things, you would pay attention to details to win them over.  They are right. 

Generally I am paying more attention to details in order to win in my life.  But specifically with her I am paying attention to the texts I send to make sure they strike the right tone, to the places I will be suggesting, to make sure that they both play to my advantages and protect the relationship while they are appropriate, and generally to the details to make sure that this relationship gets stronger.

I don't know where this is going.  But on the plus side I'll gain valuable experience.  If I win and it all works out I might have found at least an ally, at most someone of incredibly high value.

Big blog post today.  Big post.  Lots of things sorted out here.