Refocus

Writing for my Sister


I wrote that script for my sister.  I figured it would take me an hour.  It took a day.  Eight hours.  But more than an average workday it took a psychic toll.  And the psychic toll isn't over.


The psychic toll was that it drained my creative energy for the day.  I had none left.  I wrote and wrote and wrote and rewrote and then walked away.  When I walked away I noticed that I had nothing left in the tank or very little.  I couldn't create anymore.  I couldn't even really go out.  I had to rest.   I woke up today ready to go but I paid the price for that script.  I will not do it again.  If she sells this script, fine, we can talk about compensation and a future arrangement.  But this will be the last script.  I lost a rhythm.  


This weekend was important because I was looking to establish a rhythm in programming.  I have just started XCode programming and am really at a critical stage.  I am at that stage where I am starting to leap from beginning-intermediate programmer to solidly intermediate-advanced programmer.  This weekend should've solidified it.  Instead it was constant turmoil due to this split mind.  


I have said repeatedly, I am a binary person.  Either I am in or I am out.  She can do what she will.  I won't ask about it.  But I am not interested in her business.  I am interested in my own.  This split world stuff has to stop.


Work


Today I am planning on doing some programming, doing some cooking, and then doing some sleeping before starting my day again tomorrow.  Okay.  I've got nothing else to say here.  


I can tell.  I'm done.  Signing off.