Oh dear. Man. Everyday I learn more about myself. And I'm happy to do so. So what am I doing and where am I at.
First, what am I doing? That actually has alot to do with where I'm at. I was just thinking in the park over a cup of coffee. It's my usual thinking spot and I'm thinking that I've graduated from Noob to Beginner in terms of programming. A Noob is "How do I include files that are two levels up in a PHP script?'. A beginner is "In a $.ajax call if I assign a value to a variable that value has to be included in my return call to my anonymous function." I used to be a noob but now I'm a beginner which is pretty exciting. What's next? Intermediate. I can do some damage at the intermediate level. I should reach that by the time I'm finished programming my iPhone app. And have it on a server and have my first cronjob working. Lots of work.
I'm starting to learn myself more and more. A question I can finally answer about myself is why computer programming? Why not statistics or music even? Well statistics I believe is a passive science. It's a science that drives decisions but does not make decisions. Multi-stack systems change the world. I am working on becoming an awesome multi-stack system builder. System builders leverage data and probably create new data in the process. I want to be the instrument of change, not an adviser to it.
Why not music? I love music. Huge fan. But to be honest, I have never been much for simple influence. Influence wanes. Power lasts. Though I feel naked in saying this and I have never exposed this part of myself, I have always favored power over influence. As a child I was very interested in power. As I got older, in my teenage years, I received some power through influence. But then my influence waned. Answer: an artists power rests on influence which is controlled by the whims of people. Puffy is influential today but not as much as he was ten years ago. Bill Gates is influential today but not as much as he was ten years ago. However, Bill Gates still has power. His power isn't based on popularity, i.e. a politician's, but rather is resource based. I've always wanted resource based strength.
This is a funny analysis because it has to do with my fundamental nature and not anything else.
Next, You Think. The more that I think about me the more I think I care less about what "You Think." No one can ever be great bowing to You Think, paying attention to what other people think. I believe greatness can only be achieved, and self-fulfillment can only be achieved, through being in tune with your own mind and your own soul, listening to that voice deep within. A definite way to confusion and unhappiness to is to listen to "You Think." Most people have no idea of where they're going and no conception of greatness or no desire for it. It makes absolutely no sense to listen to them. Even Bill Gates' own mother laughed at him when he founded Microsoft. Rather, it makes perfect sense to listen to iThink. Greatness was never achieved by committee. Most people put themselves on your personal committee even though they have no vested interest in you or may not care about you at all. But they put forward their opinions, spoken and unspoken, about the direction of your life and how you ought to conduct it. That's You Think. But iThink is much greater. One should never run one's life by YT. Rather only through iThink.
I've always been a rebel. I've been told a number times that I should start my own thing. Now I understand. That's exactly what I am doing and must do. It's imperative. I'm sure when Beethoven was writing his first concerto people doubted him, and gave him plenty of YT. But now he's Beethoven. And who are they? Exactly.
