Friday, July 27, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Truths
1. To create wealth: create value for others.
2. To obtain freedom: adopt discipline
3. To gain tomorrow: sacrifice today
4. To be secure: take risks
5. To lead: serve
6. To get up: lift another
7. To get revenge: forgive
8. To win: find the lessons in loss
9. To fly: fall often
10. To change the world: change yourself
2. To obtain freedom: adopt discipline
3. To gain tomorrow: sacrifice today
4. To be secure: take risks
5. To lead: serve
6. To get up: lift another
7. To get revenge: forgive
8. To win: find the lessons in loss
9. To fly: fall often
10. To change the world: change yourself
Friday, July 20, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Bill Ackman's Reading List
http://www.forbes.com/sites/monteburke/2012/07/18/hedge-fund-titan-bill-ackmans-essential-financial-reading-list/
Keep these in mind. They'll be useful down the road.
Keep these in mind. They'll be useful down the road.
Women and Trying
So I used to have a lot of women. Then I went through my dark period where none wanted to be around me. Now they are coming back slowly. I am pleased by all of these things but now I know some things about myself which help in my relationships with women.
First of all, I am not a whore. Women liked me specifically because of this fact. I enjoyed getting to know them, relaxing about them, and then if the opportunity presented itself and it was mutually enjoyable we would spend private time together. But it was never forced or the goal of the relationship. Rather it was a bi-product of the relationship.
Second, all of the best relationships I've had have been the result of being like my father. He was a calm man, never too excitable or too lax. But rather he walked what I like to call in the sense of demeanor, the middle path. Enjoy conversation. Enjoy the day. Press the advantage but do so in a graceful manner. And take life as it comes. But don't look at things or people as transactionary. But rather if a woman is correct for you or if anything is correct for you it should have a comfort level to it.
I have adopted this method and I must say that while I don't see many results from it for the time being I am calm again. I don't fee anxious or pressed about any woman in particular. I feel as though my interactions are beginning to manage themselves. It's a nice thing, not trying.
First of all, I am not a whore. Women liked me specifically because of this fact. I enjoyed getting to know them, relaxing about them, and then if the opportunity presented itself and it was mutually enjoyable we would spend private time together. But it was never forced or the goal of the relationship. Rather it was a bi-product of the relationship.
Second, all of the best relationships I've had have been the result of being like my father. He was a calm man, never too excitable or too lax. But rather he walked what I like to call in the sense of demeanor, the middle path. Enjoy conversation. Enjoy the day. Press the advantage but do so in a graceful manner. And take life as it comes. But don't look at things or people as transactionary. But rather if a woman is correct for you or if anything is correct for you it should have a comfort level to it.
I have adopted this method and I must say that while I don't see many results from it for the time being I am calm again. I don't fee anxious or pressed about any woman in particular. I feel as though my interactions are beginning to manage themselves. It's a nice thing, not trying.
New Found Balance
Marissa Meyer said something that I won't forget (her again). She said that you must have a rhythm. Well, I've got a rhythm now. It's a good rhythm. And it's a rhythm by which I can make progress. I am pleased with it.
It consists of going home. Having a cup of milk with some graham crackers or a cigarette (I know, I know) and getting to work straight away. At 11 pm I watch the news and an anime cartoon of my choosing, then I go home and I get back to work.
I know that I must eat dinner. If I eat I am well adjusted and happy. If I don't then I sleep poorly during the night and wake up somewhat drained. But now that I know this I am much better off. After I eat a respectable breakfast I am ready to roll. I am calm and able to get back to work.
But most importantly I am able to get back to just simply being.
It consists of going home. Having a cup of milk with some graham crackers or a cigarette (I know, I know) and getting to work straight away. At 11 pm I watch the news and an anime cartoon of my choosing, then I go home and I get back to work.
I know that I must eat dinner. If I eat I am well adjusted and happy. If I don't then I sleep poorly during the night and wake up somewhat drained. But now that I know this I am much better off. After I eat a respectable breakfast I am ready to roll. I am calm and able to get back to work.
But most importantly I am able to get back to just simply being.
Burnout, Resentment, and Wrong Decisions
They say you should never make decisions when you're tired. Well, I did. How wrong could I be.
You see I was burnt out. Which Marissa Meyer's explained to me in an article in Bloomberg Businessweek meant that I was resentful. And truly I was. I didn't have a boss that was forcing me to do things. I was resentful, not of what other people were making me do, but of what I was doing to myself. You see I had been coding furiously for about a month, give or take a few days, seven days a week, 13-15 hours a day, including weekends. I was tired. Moreso I was getting resentful. I was resentful that I had no one to talk to. Coding at my stage is a pretty lonely enterprise. It's me, a computer, maybe Hulu in the background, but it's me pretty much writing code and figuring things out. Just me.
I'm not a solo act. I enjoy interpersonal relationships. I enjoy human interaction. So when I sit for very long periods of time and just work with no interpersonal interaction it bothers me. I resent it. Then I become tired. Then comes the choice.
Mark Twain said that (paraphrased) when he was trying to write a book, at a certain point he just couldn't. He put down his pen and walked away from it. Then days later his cup filled up. He wandered back to his pen and found that he could write again. His cup just needed time to fill back up.
I've often felt this when I've created things. That somehow in creating something I was pouring my very soul into this thing, that I was breathing life into it, and while my life renews itself, it simply needs time to do so. Well, I had no life left in me. I needed a rest. My soul wasn't tired, it was just drained. I had nothing left to give. Three days and I would've been fine. Five and I would've been perfect. But alas I did what I normally do. I couldn't sit still.
My sister called (remember her?). She wanted me to write something. I wrote it. Then she wanted four other things. I agreed to write them. Now my soul is full again but I'm filling the wrong cup. >( This is not the proper cup and yet I'm filling it. Meanwhile the correct cup is sitting idly by waiting on me. And I'm not filling it. No good. Not good at all.
The next time I feel some exhaustion I will simply sit. I will get a book. I will watch as much TV as I want. I will buy an XBox. I will do something that I often have a hard time doing. I will do nothing. I will let my cup fill up. I will wait for my soul to replinish itself. Then I will get back to work, willing and able to continue on my way.
Until then I will do my penenance now. I will write for my sister. And not write again.
You see I was burnt out. Which Marissa Meyer's explained to me in an article in Bloomberg Businessweek meant that I was resentful. And truly I was. I didn't have a boss that was forcing me to do things. I was resentful, not of what other people were making me do, but of what I was doing to myself. You see I had been coding furiously for about a month, give or take a few days, seven days a week, 13-15 hours a day, including weekends. I was tired. Moreso I was getting resentful. I was resentful that I had no one to talk to. Coding at my stage is a pretty lonely enterprise. It's me, a computer, maybe Hulu in the background, but it's me pretty much writing code and figuring things out. Just me.
I'm not a solo act. I enjoy interpersonal relationships. I enjoy human interaction. So when I sit for very long periods of time and just work with no interpersonal interaction it bothers me. I resent it. Then I become tired. Then comes the choice.
Mark Twain said that (paraphrased) when he was trying to write a book, at a certain point he just couldn't. He put down his pen and walked away from it. Then days later his cup filled up. He wandered back to his pen and found that he could write again. His cup just needed time to fill back up.
I've often felt this when I've created things. That somehow in creating something I was pouring my very soul into this thing, that I was breathing life into it, and while my life renews itself, it simply needs time to do so. Well, I had no life left in me. I needed a rest. My soul wasn't tired, it was just drained. I had nothing left to give. Three days and I would've been fine. Five and I would've been perfect. But alas I did what I normally do. I couldn't sit still.
My sister called (remember her?). She wanted me to write something. I wrote it. Then she wanted four other things. I agreed to write them. Now my soul is full again but I'm filling the wrong cup. >( This is not the proper cup and yet I'm filling it. Meanwhile the correct cup is sitting idly by waiting on me. And I'm not filling it. No good. Not good at all.
The next time I feel some exhaustion I will simply sit. I will get a book. I will watch as much TV as I want. I will buy an XBox. I will do something that I often have a hard time doing. I will do nothing. I will let my cup fill up. I will wait for my soul to replinish itself. Then I will get back to work, willing and able to continue on my way.
Until then I will do my penenance now. I will write for my sister. And not write again.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Wisdom
The hurts that you inflict upon others are revisited upon you. -- Curtis Sumpter
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man sows, that shall he also reap. -- Galatians 6:7
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man sows, that shall he also reap. -- Galatians 6:7
Ethos
"Hov, remind yourself. Nobody's built like you. You designed yourself." -- Jay-Z, A Dream
I feel as though I am not just designing myself but am consciously building myself. Since I was a little boy I've always wanted to build something. I am in the process of building that something now. But I am also in the process of building myself. There's a Jeep commercial that says, "The things you make make you." I agree with that to a large extent. I find myself transforming because daily now I am in the process of building things and in the process I find that I am building myself. In this self design I find that I am developing an Ethos.
There are a couple key points about building myself that I am finding principle.
-- Self-Made
I am a self-made man. Sure, I have had ample help from family members. But by and large outside of family I am self made. I largely taught myself all but the basic rudiments of computer programming. I taught myself how to dress well (as an adult). I taught myself how to comport myself in a professional environment. I taught myself how (and how not to) take risks. I build things and move of my own volition, only subject to God's will. I am by and large self-made.
-- 1950's
I find my ethos to be of yesteryear, of a time past. I dress well. But that is because a man ought to take care of the details in his life. I eat real food and cook because I need nourishment and a man must take care of himself. I enjoy shaving and having a drink. Not drinking. Having a drink. Selecting. Choosing. And realizing that all decisions have rewards or consequences. I find myself taking risks but choosing them carefully.
-- Handcrafted Life
The first things I wanted to be in life were an automechanic and a DJ. The work in combination speak to grace and craft. Both together speak to choices about quality and craftsmanship melded with attention to detail, design. These things must be handcrafted but more importantly they must be mastered with careful patience over time.
-- Slow Real Stable Self Made Success
I don't have a mind or a soul for a quick buck. Let's make a business and flip it for a quick dollar. Rather I have a mind for creating a product, improving it, mastering it, learning about marketing it, and then building on that success. Slow stable meaningful substantive achievement. Stability. Foundation.
-- Taking Care of One's Self
Clothing. Craftsmanship. Attention to detail. Association. Self-respect. All of these things lead to permanence. An enduring quality.
It's important to note here that strength exists to serve and protect others. Giving workers a safe stable place to work. Seeing customers as a group to be served diligently. Serving the community as a whole, seeking to take care of those who are within reach. The purpose is to serve.
In order to do that I must build a truly independent power base. Technology and the current timeframe are the beginnings of that.
I feel as though I am not just designing myself but am consciously building myself. Since I was a little boy I've always wanted to build something. I am in the process of building that something now. But I am also in the process of building myself. There's a Jeep commercial that says, "The things you make make you." I agree with that to a large extent. I find myself transforming because daily now I am in the process of building things and in the process I find that I am building myself. In this self design I find that I am developing an Ethos.
There are a couple key points about building myself that I am finding principle.
-- Self-Made
I am a self-made man. Sure, I have had ample help from family members. But by and large outside of family I am self made. I largely taught myself all but the basic rudiments of computer programming. I taught myself how to dress well (as an adult). I taught myself how to comport myself in a professional environment. I taught myself how (and how not to) take risks. I build things and move of my own volition, only subject to God's will. I am by and large self-made.
-- 1950's
I find my ethos to be of yesteryear, of a time past. I dress well. But that is because a man ought to take care of the details in his life. I eat real food and cook because I need nourishment and a man must take care of himself. I enjoy shaving and having a drink. Not drinking. Having a drink. Selecting. Choosing. And realizing that all decisions have rewards or consequences. I find myself taking risks but choosing them carefully.
-- Handcrafted Life
The first things I wanted to be in life were an automechanic and a DJ. The work in combination speak to grace and craft. Both together speak to choices about quality and craftsmanship melded with attention to detail, design. These things must be handcrafted but more importantly they must be mastered with careful patience over time.
-- Slow Real Stable Self Made Success
I don't have a mind or a soul for a quick buck. Let's make a business and flip it for a quick dollar. Rather I have a mind for creating a product, improving it, mastering it, learning about marketing it, and then building on that success. Slow stable meaningful substantive achievement. Stability. Foundation.
-- Taking Care of One's Self
Clothing. Craftsmanship. Attention to detail. Association. Self-respect. All of these things lead to permanence. An enduring quality.
It's important to note here that strength exists to serve and protect others. Giving workers a safe stable place to work. Seeing customers as a group to be served diligently. Serving the community as a whole, seeking to take care of those who are within reach. The purpose is to serve.
In order to do that I must build a truly independent power base. Technology and the current timeframe are the beginnings of that.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Today's Plan
Today the plan is to finish the ConfirmationViewController and the InsuranceViewController.
I'm eager to get this done so I can start on some other screens but most importantly I'm ready to move into Linux and server programming.
This'll allow me to get into web services and cronjobs and the core of a real web-mobile application. It's just a matter of working through this skeletal piece. Then I can put some real architecture behind the iPhone app and start working on real world issues, i.e. security, server management, traffic management, file access management. I'm excited. These are quantum leaps.
This is the real walk, real talk.
I'm eager to get this done so I can start on some other screens but most importantly I'm ready to move into Linux and server programming.
This'll allow me to get into web services and cronjobs and the core of a real web-mobile application. It's just a matter of working through this skeletal piece. Then I can put some real architecture behind the iPhone app and start working on real world issues, i.e. security, server management, traffic management, file access management. I'm excited. These are quantum leaps.
This is the real walk, real talk.
Gutted
Sometimes people must be brought to heel. I have a certain knack for bringing disrespectful people to heel. Today I had to do it. It felt good. People can be like dogs. They're disrespectful until you put them in their place. Then they behave quite nicely. But often they must be brought to heel. It's important to know this.
This was a good day. One because I realize that I breathe VBA. I'm about a hair away from expert. But also because I bought someone to heel. It worked rather nicely. People often attempt to take a piece of you away. The choices are simple. Live diminished. Or take it back.
This was a good day. One because I realize that I breathe VBA. I'm about a hair away from expert. But also because I bought someone to heel. It worked rather nicely. People often attempt to take a piece of you away. The choices are simple. Live diminished. Or take it back.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
The Past and the Path
So it's the 4th of July. What should I do? Well everybody else is at a bar drinking so I should probably go do that, right? I don't think so. Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.
A large part of my personal history has been laden with drinking and partying. They are not bad in and of themselves but too much and my balance, my inner balance, could be messed up. I've had problems with balance before. My balance is just returning. I want it to stay good. So I'm going to hold off on the drinking and partying and stay with sobriety for this weekend and probably two more weekends.
It's not because I have a problem with drinking but rather because I want to make sure that I am doing all things in moderation. I have to be careful with drinking as it may mess me up over the long term. It messed up my dad and his mother. I must take care with such things. That path led to some darkness before. I don't want to take it again.
Now, what I want to do is to put together three more iPhone forms tonight and another three tomorrow. That may be asking too much but I think it's somewhat reasonable so that's what I'm going to aim for. Tomorrow in the morning I may go see Ted. It looks good. Or I may go buy a Boxwood plant. That sounds good too. Okay.
Maybe no Ted. I need to conserve my resources for now. Okay. Peace.
A large part of my personal history has been laden with drinking and partying. They are not bad in and of themselves but too much and my balance, my inner balance, could be messed up. I've had problems with balance before. My balance is just returning. I want it to stay good. So I'm going to hold off on the drinking and partying and stay with sobriety for this weekend and probably two more weekends.
It's not because I have a problem with drinking but rather because I want to make sure that I am doing all things in moderation. I have to be careful with drinking as it may mess me up over the long term. It messed up my dad and his mother. I must take care with such things. That path led to some darkness before. I don't want to take it again.
Now, what I want to do is to put together three more iPhone forms tonight and another three tomorrow. That may be asking too much but I think it's somewhat reasonable so that's what I'm going to aim for. Tomorrow in the morning I may go see Ted. It looks good. Or I may go buy a Boxwood plant. That sounds good too. Okay.
Maybe no Ted. I need to conserve my resources for now. Okay. Peace.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Moving Forward
I just finished an iPhone screen. It surprised me how quick it was to actually do. Tomorrow I want to finish another screen but I am officially about 40% done with the iPhone screen build out. Now I've got to work on the next 20% tomorrow. The funny part is that tomorrow I can work on that screen but I'm off for the 4th of July.
That means that I should be at least 60% done if not 80%. That's awesome. Awesome. After I get this up and running in a solid manner (there's no reason it shouldn't be done by the end of July) I'll be moving into getting my server up and running. Awesome. There will be a lot of work getting that running properly and bullet proofing it from viruses, etc. But first I have to get it running to a point where I can get all my computers in my house actually talking to the server and then get the web services working and the authentication piece working, etc.
Work, work, work. But I'm making progress. Good progress. I'll keep you posted.
That means that I should be at least 60% done if not 80%. That's awesome. Awesome. After I get this up and running in a solid manner (there's no reason it shouldn't be done by the end of July) I'll be moving into getting my server up and running. Awesome. There will be a lot of work getting that running properly and bullet proofing it from viruses, etc. But first I have to get it running to a point where I can get all my computers in my house actually talking to the server and then get the web services working and the authentication piece working, etc.
Work, work, work. But I'm making progress. Good progress. I'll keep you posted.
Threshold
I am in a very critical transition period. I am at a threshold that I must cross successfully to have the life that I want. I really don't want to write this post but it's necessary. I don't want to write it because it's a bit scary.
Right now I am in a job where I make enough money that I can seriously save money. I can also make serious progress toward the life that I want to live. There are some things that I need this job to accomplish and things I want to accomplish before I leave this job.
1. Have a Masters Degree in Statistics.
2. Have three web-based businesses that are generating upward of 50K per month while I still keep my job.
3. Have iOS/Android and serious scalable professional web programming skills.
4. Have a fully furnished apartment.
5. Have a writing project with Tika moving into production.*
*This is more for Tika than me but I feel it's part of my path. Somehow it's intricately related to who I am and what I'll be doing in life. Uncertainty. Ech. Don't like it. Not exactly sure where this fits in. Stay tuned.
This is a challenge for me but an opportunity to learn because I need to build and maintain a set of relationships for a period of three years.
J (my bosses boss) I have a reasonable relationship with.
B (my boss) I have a reasonable relationship with. She doesn't see me as a threat and sees me as an anomoly. This I don't care about because it shouldn't really affect my job security.
S -- my co-worker hates me. I don't really care for her either. I'll have to manage this relationship.
M -- he's my co-worker. We don't really care for each other either but he's leaving soon so I won't have to manage that relationship for much longer. Nice.
E -- a girl I went on a date with. It didn't go well. That's another story. I just have to gingerly handle that relationship. But it shouldn't cause much of a problem as she's relatively easy going and civil.
N -- I think this relationship is passable. Honne - we don't really care for each other. Tantame - we're civil and do the office smile.
I think this situation is completely managable. I just want to be careful with it.
It's very important.
Very important. But it's all in God's hands. I just don't want to fumble the ball.
:D
Right now I am in a job where I make enough money that I can seriously save money. I can also make serious progress toward the life that I want to live. There are some things that I need this job to accomplish and things I want to accomplish before I leave this job.
1. Have a Masters Degree in Statistics.
2. Have three web-based businesses that are generating upward of 50K per month while I still keep my job.
3. Have iOS/Android and serious scalable professional web programming skills.
4. Have a fully furnished apartment.
5. Have a writing project with Tika moving into production.*
*This is more for Tika than me but I feel it's part of my path. Somehow it's intricately related to who I am and what I'll be doing in life. Uncertainty. Ech. Don't like it. Not exactly sure where this fits in. Stay tuned.
This is a challenge for me but an opportunity to learn because I need to build and maintain a set of relationships for a period of three years.
J (my bosses boss) I have a reasonable relationship with.
B (my boss) I have a reasonable relationship with. She doesn't see me as a threat and sees me as an anomoly. This I don't care about because it shouldn't really affect my job security.
S -- my co-worker hates me. I don't really care for her either. I'll have to manage this relationship.
M -- he's my co-worker. We don't really care for each other either but he's leaving soon so I won't have to manage that relationship for much longer. Nice.
E -- a girl I went on a date with. It didn't go well. That's another story. I just have to gingerly handle that relationship. But it shouldn't cause much of a problem as she's relatively easy going and civil.
N -- I think this relationship is passable. Honne - we don't really care for each other. Tantame - we're civil and do the office smile.
I think this situation is completely managable. I just want to be careful with it.
It's very important.
Very important. But it's all in God's hands. I just don't want to fumble the ball.
:D
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