Regardless of whatever happens when one person separates from an organization or anything there is an emotional reaction. If that relationship was terrible, then the reaction tends to be happiness. If the relationship is mixed then there is some feeling of sadness for the good parts that were lost.
I separated from EY officially today signing all paperwork and handing in my identification card, etc. That EY ID represented something to me. It was my entry into the upper middle class. It represented taxis and the Upper East Side, and restaurants, and basically being part of the city that got to say I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. It was not exciting, but it was nice to be a part of the priviledged class. Now I still have honorary membership in that class but there's something different to be said about it. I can no longer say that I am a part of EY, a storied and legendary firm. My sadness is at this loss of status and connection.
But there is a thick silver lining. The way I know that I am on the right path is funny. There's an internal compass. And using that internal compass one walks the path. But as one walks this path (alone at first) things come along ... good things. But all of those good things are distractions.
I have largely finished the website that I was building. Sure there are parts of it that still must be completed, i.e. some checking conventions, a button or two, etc. But the funny part is that as I start learning to build my iPhone app which is the next real phase of development (a big step) I am bombarded by offers. A girl calls me out of the blue and now wants to be my girlfriend. I get a job offer today to jump into management at a large corporation. These are what I call universal consolation prizes. They're the universes way to see if you really want to be who you are born to be. It's like the universe saying, "Okay, I know you're on your journey and you've found the right way but if you stop, here, you can have this girl. Isn't that nice?" Or, "Well, you know there is this management position that you can have. I know you know you're not a suit. But you'll have all this prestige and money. Is that great? What do you say?"
If you say no. And continue to say no, you'll get everything. The prestige. The resources. But most importantly the internal satisfaction of being able to say I stayed true to who I am. That's a gift, that assuredness, that rock solid mental foundation, that strong spiritual relationship with God, that can't be bought.
I am somewhat sad. But I am assured that I am on the right path. I need to get back to work.
I separated from EY officially today signing all paperwork and handing in my identification card, etc. That EY ID represented something to me. It was my entry into the upper middle class. It represented taxis and the Upper East Side, and restaurants, and basically being part of the city that got to say I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. It was not exciting, but it was nice to be a part of the priviledged class. Now I still have honorary membership in that class but there's something different to be said about it. I can no longer say that I am a part of EY, a storied and legendary firm. My sadness is at this loss of status and connection.
But there is a thick silver lining. The way I know that I am on the right path is funny. There's an internal compass. And using that internal compass one walks the path. But as one walks this path (alone at first) things come along ... good things. But all of those good things are distractions.
I have largely finished the website that I was building. Sure there are parts of it that still must be completed, i.e. some checking conventions, a button or two, etc. But the funny part is that as I start learning to build my iPhone app which is the next real phase of development (a big step) I am bombarded by offers. A girl calls me out of the blue and now wants to be my girlfriend. I get a job offer today to jump into management at a large corporation. These are what I call universal consolation prizes. They're the universes way to see if you really want to be who you are born to be. It's like the universe saying, "Okay, I know you're on your journey and you've found the right way but if you stop, here, you can have this girl. Isn't that nice?" Or, "Well, you know there is this management position that you can have. I know you know you're not a suit. But you'll have all this prestige and money. Is that great? What do you say?"
If you say no. And continue to say no, you'll get everything. The prestige. The resources. But most importantly the internal satisfaction of being able to say I stayed true to who I am. That's a gift, that assuredness, that rock solid mental foundation, that strong spiritual relationship with God, that can't be bought.
I am somewhat sad. But I am assured that I am on the right path. I need to get back to work.
No comments:
Post a Comment