Rhythm

I was having a bit of a rough time editing L&M the other night.  It was rough because it's like having a tough day at work and then going back in the next day dreading it because you think it's going to be such a tough task again.  But actually how today usually has no real connection to how yesterday was.  Each day seems to fall of it's own accord.  


Well, that's how it was for this particular editing session.  However, I got to it and surely the next twenty pages were much easier to edit, really not requiring much re-working.  But funny enough I just got offered my first paid work in writing today.  


It came through my sister.  Her boyfriend's family need someone to rewrite the text for their website and my sister suggested me.  I don't think there is anything here that will significantly help me in my writing career but I do know this.  This is a small opportunity, a shoot of grass, first fruits, being offered to me by the universe in response to all the work I've done with writing.  I know that if I say yes to this it will allow more paid writing work to flow toward me.  


There will be challenges.  There always are, but the Bible says "Whatever a man sow that also shall he reap."  This text is often used to reference ill but it also applies to good.  In this sense I have sown a respectable amount of work in writing.   Now I am reaping the first fruits of my reward.  Thank God.  Thank God.  And thank God. 


I am eager to see what else the future will hold, very eager.

Girl

There's this girl that I want to see.  But we can't seem to get together.   I'm not really sure what I should do.  Heck, I'm not really even sure what my plans are for her.  I'm not super into her but I do think there is some promise there.  I have tried twice and anything beyond one more try seems to be pushing it.  A phone call will feel awkward and forced.  I'm just not really sure what I should do.  


But I do know this.  Trusting the universe.  Trusting in the plan rhythm of the universe and the Architect who created it has always served me well.  I'll think on it a bit more but whatever happens just going with the flow has always worked best for me.  That's what I think I'll do here.

Life Hack

I am not a morning person.  Therefore I must trick myself into waking up in the morning.  Therefore tomorrow morning I want to wake up and go to church.  Or at least go for a walk.  (Church seems like a bit much at 10 am for me ... the singing and the word ... I do better in the evening so a walk sounds like a better idea).  


Life Hack:  The first thing I'll do before I do anything else is to get a cup of coffee.   Wake up.  Walk to the kitchen.  Get the coffee.  Drink it.  That's it.  If I don't do that I'll never wake up.


Tomorrow I'd like to edit cut four pages out of L&M, to read the Word, ideally to go to church, and to help my sister.  Also to edit another ten pages of L&M and to do some programming.  Man, I'd better go to bed.

Mental Fitness

Tonight I decided not to do two things.  


First, I decided not to go out drinking.  Alcohol, like most objects, is a tool.  It is a tool to relieve stress.  God has seen fit to give me a body that really does not require much maintenance.  However it does require me not to abuse it.  In order to prevent abuse I should only really use alcohol when the amount of stress on my system is overwhelming.  Otherwise I should leave it alone.  I have done so tonight.


Second, I decided not to watch any streaming video tonight.  I have found that watching television for hours seems to numb my brain in it's frontal lobes, deadening it somewhat, sort of like a sleeping foot.  Since I am a cerebral being by nature this is the equivalent of being temporarily disabled.  I don't like it so therefore I didn't do it.  


Rather I chose to read tonight.  I am reading and learning and feel as though my comprehension skills are increasing and my mental dexterity is being served.  I must be careful with how much non-active stimulus (television, movies, even I gather plays to some extent) I introduce into my mind.  I am more suited to interactive stimulus (reading, writing, programming, learning) and of these positive activities I can have as much of as I like.  

New Words

Ardor: enthusiasm or passion.

Spiritual Hunger

Sometimes I feel a little emptiness inside, a little space in my soul.  Often I feel like it might just be me being hungry but this morning (it's 2:30 am EST) it's so quiet that I can actually hear my own soul.  This hunger wasn't physical.  It was spiritual.  I read the Bible and somehow instantly my soul felt better.  That emptiness, that slice of darkness, went away.  I looked in the mirror as I believe the eyes are truly the windows to the soul and just like that my eyes were somehow fuller, more at peace.  All I can say is praise be to God and thanks for Your Son Jesus Christ.  Amen.


BTW: What did I learn.  I read Philippians Chapter 2.  There were three sections and I learned two things for sure. The third I'll have to think about.


1.  Paul espouses people in the church to value each other more than themselves and to serve one another, doing nothing out of ambition but rather in the spirit of service to each other.


2.  Paul also tells people in the church never to grumble or argue so that we as Christians may shine among the people as stars.  It's in service to the name of Christ which we represent that we should not grumble or argue so that we can stand apart.


I am amazed at how much better I feel now that I have read the Word.  My soul truly feels more whole, more at ease, more fulfilled, just more.  Spiritual hunger is real and if I am to grow into the man that I want to be, that God desires for me to be, then it is up to me not only to eat once a week when I'm at church but to eat everyday, gaining the strength to walk this walk daily.  

Writing Music

I'm sitting here coding for work.  Yes, it's in a rudimentary not very exciting application which I'm embarrassed to mention.  Yet it's pretty great.  I have become truly proficient with this rudimentary form of programming and I must say that I am happy about it.  

In high school I used to enjoy simply doing math and listening to music at the same time. It was almost as if when I was doing math I was writing music.  I felt truly at peace, zen.  Now that I am writing code and listening to music and I am past the struggle stage of writing code but am simply and fluidly creating I must say that I feel the same way.  

This feeling of zen is really enjoyable.  I wonder will I ever feel this way about writing books?  Will I ever get this fluid.  Perhaps.  But I do know one thing.  I will not deviate (with God's blessing) from the plan.  I will continue to write and to write code.  But I don't know.  If dancing with one woman feels so right why would I want to dance with anyone else?